By Marina Austin
A beautiful message for those who feel unloved and who to want to be loved (Part 1 of 4).
Have you been feeling unloved lately? Is there a hole in your chest from craving deep, meaningful relationships and community? Maybe your hope has been deferred (Pr 13:12), and you’re probably waiting on God’s promises to materialise for so long that it has made your heart sick. If so, I pray that the Holy Spirit will write through me to you to ease the burden on your heart as you read this very special message.
Why are there so many ‘good’ Christians who feel unloved and are carrying this burden alone? I use the term ‘good’ because they are often in almost every Mass, adoration, prayer meeting and rallies. Surely, we “see” and “know” them from church; yet many do not get involved in the community. Perhaps, you are reading this, and it is either you or someone you know that comes to mind. Maybe, you even know what it feels like to be in a dark, sad, or lonely space, where everything seems to be falling apart and you probably need to keep reading.
While I cannot explain why we feel unloved sometimes or why we must bear the trauma of broken families, abuse, unpleasant childhoods, single parenting, miscarriage, betrayal, unaccomplished dreams, disappointment, failure, loneliness, anxiety and depression, I know that God is in the midst. More importantly, He sees how unloved you are (Gen 29:31). This short scripture comes at the heart of a messy situation where Leah was married to Jacobwho preferred her sister, Rachel. As we might remember from the story, Jacob never loved Leah, even after being married to her for seven years. Yet, that was all Leah craved— to be loved. That’s where God stepped in. He saw her emptiness, just like He sees ours.
Do you know what He did? God “opened her womb”. That’s right, God blessed Leah and made her fruitful. He filled her with so much joy, purpose, and family. From this story, God wants you to know that despite all that you have gone through or how you are feeling, He is the dream-giver, the womb opener and way-maker. He has planted creative dreams, entrepreneurial ideas, books to be written, music to be composed; inside of you and He wants you to birth them. Now, I don’t know what He has whispered into your heart, but He has a special assignment that only you can fulfil.
Since God is love, He does not want you to feel unloved. When we feel like we ‘feel’ unloved, everything becomes hard, unbearable and we might even be tempted to give up. That is one of the most blatant lies of the enemy and he’s been doing this since the Garden of Eden. While the evil one does not know what God has entrusted you with, he knows that you have been chosen and that you are marked and sealed by God. He knows that you have been anointed for a special purpose. Ultimately, it is our responsibility to embrace our divine assignment and respond to His call.
As Scripture tells us “If only you knew what God is offering” (Jn 4:10). God’s love is the wellspring from which we draw when we feel under-loved. Yes, that person may have hurt and betrayed you, and you may even feel overlooked and rejected by your family and in your workplace or school. God sees how unloved you are. He sees the grief that you bear from the passing of your loved one or the collapse of that long-lasting friendship. Today, He wants us to trust Him and surrender that pain. We need to trust that He can heal and transform it and use it as a blessing for us and others.
I know that feeling unloved is hard to bear but just be patient during this barren season until God turns things around. Soon you will be fruitful .Let’s pray together:
Dear God, Your Word says, “You have loved me with an everlasting love and that you are constant in your affection for me (Jer 31:1) even when I feel under-loved. Help me to heal from being unloved and from all the trauma from all the broken relationships, debt, loneliness, disappointment which has led to a poor self-image, weight gain, set-backs, delay, health problems and closed doors. Lord, drive away all toxic thoughts, behaviours, habits from my heart and fill me with Your peace.
Loving Father, I also surrender that great disappointment which is on my heart and which is holding me back from experiencing the fullness of Your love. O Divine Healer, I lay down my adult trauma and I nail all hurtful memories, old negative mindsets, lies I have been told and believed about being unlovable to Your cross. Today, I embrace Your truth, way and life. Dear God, who makes things new again, I ask that You flush out all that I have repressed inside and set a firewall of protection around my mind. Fill the inside of these walls with Your love, purpose and mission. Please use me, Jesus to go out and bear fruit that will last. Lord, fill those void and vacant spaces of my life with Your Holy Spirit so that it may never be occupied by anything that is not You. Finally, renew my mind so that I can be transformed and give birth to those creative dreams that You have placed within me. Lord, have Your way, Amen.