by Lydia Singh, Santa Rosa parish, Arima.
COVID-19 happened and sent the world and my world into disarray.
It was as if I went to bed in one world and woke up in another—a world where social distancing and self-isolation became the new normal. I can tell you that it is not easy to be depressed and in self-isolation. It gave a new meaning to being ‘utterly alone’.
Sometimes, I would be angry that I woke up. Days and times seemed to have lost their essence. I spent most of my day crying and being angry. During one of my darkest days, I realised that I was not the only person being affected, and there was so much more grief happening that I couldn’t fathom.
I remember thinking that I am not alone; there are so many more people in desperate need. Some are experiencing death and going through hardships that I couldn’t imagine.
It was at this point I realised that I needed to let go and let God take control. I had to stop being selfish with my burdens and let Him take care of others whose burdens were definitely bigger than mine. I found comfort in doing this.
We humans often try to control everything about our lives, from our schedules, relationships to eating habits. We try to control everything.
I had to let go and trust that God would make a way out of this abysmal darkness, not only for me, but for the world. And so, I started to pray. Psalms 27, 100 and 23 came to my mind.
I prayed and cried and cried some more.
And then I felt this immense sense of peace. I remembered that it’s not the change that people are afraid off, but the uncertainty of that change is what’s the scariest. I think we could bridge that uncertainty by having faith and trusting that He is in control.
I have decided to use this time to brush up on my studies as well as learn a new skill, which happens to be knitting and sewing. I also have been video calling my friends and family, regularly checking up on them. This has helped me to lend a listening ear and vice versa to my friends and family. It’s so important at this time to check up on persons and just listen, share a laugh and be a friend.
So, for anyone like me who suffers from depression or going through a loss, just remember that you don’t have to succumb to the darkness. You are not alone. Call a friend, family or your parish priest and just talk to someone. We must become our brother’s keeper. Believe that everything is going to be ok. We are going to get through this together and come out stronger, brighter and highly skilled and favoured.
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