What ‘I used to think’… about fatherhood

A key component of the Archdiocesan Family Life Commission’s ‘Children Are Gift’(CAG) programme is a segment on fatherhood. As we celebrate Father’s Day, here are some thoughts shared by male and female participants at the CAG Arima session on May 5, and the CAG Bourg Mulatresse session on April 28.

Arima

• I used to think that fathering was not of major importance in a child’s life, but now I know how very important it is.
• I used to think that fathering was just about a man being there to provide and protect, but now I know the real impact a father has on the life of his children.
• I use to think that my father’s not being around did not affect me, but now I know his not being there played a role in my choices.
• I used to think if I am present it would be enough for my family, but now I know I should be more involved in my children’s life.
• I used to think I could be mother and father to my household, but now I know that a male role model is very important.
• I used to think that the role of the father was always important, and now I know that it is true, perfectly correct and in order.
• I used to think if I was a good provider and present that I was there for my children, but now I know that I should be there for my children physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Bourg Mulatresse

• I used to think that I was failing my daughter by not having her father in her life, but now I know that I am doing her a disservice. I honestly felt attacked for most of the session as a single mother of a girl. My singleness was not my CHOICE. With that said she has a loving grandfather who steps up and continue to support us both.
• I used to think that not having a father would affect a child, but now I know that it does for sure.
• I used to think that fathers were not as important as the mothers, but now I know that is not true.
• I used to think that dads were there to provide, now I know that their role in the family is very important.
• I used to think that my husband could do more, but now I know he is a great dad.
• I used to think that the family was the most important thing, but now I know everyone has a role that is equally important.
• I used to think that just being present and working would be enough, but now I know that it is not just about work but spending quality time with my children.
• I used to think that how a father behaves around his children will influence them, now I know that is true in raising good children.
• I used to think that a mother could teach her son all he needs to know to be a good man, but now I know that fathers need to be involved.
• I used to think fatherhood was easier than being a mother; now I know that a father is important in the lives of their children.
• I used to think I could teach my son all his father could not do, but now I know better.
• I used to think that I can raise my boys by myself, but now I know better.
• I used to think that I could do so much better for my children than their father, but now I know if he wants to help I should let him.
• I used to think that I could teach my son everything about being a man, but now I know I should allow my husband to take up his role and be more involved in our son’s life.
• I used to think that mothers played the more important role in their children’s lives, now I know how very important the father’s role is also. I should involve my husband more.
• I used to think that boys don’t really need their fathers, but now I know that they do.
• I used to think I can leave the child-rearing to my wife, but now I know I should spend more time with my sons to help them become better young men. Being involved is the key.
• I used to think the mother’s nurturing role supersedes that of the father, but now I know that a father influences both sons and daughters. And sons model their fathers.